Overcoming the Fear of Talking to Someone with Shakti’s Grace

What Is Fear of Conversation?

Why does this person look different than anyone else who I might want to have a conversation with? I personally don’t usually have a fear of striking up a conversation with someone. But all of the things I might normally say suddenly sound stupid inside of my head.

Am I afraid of looking stupid? Am I afraid of rejection? Am I afraid that if I say the wrong thing he’ll walk away?

A question I will ask myself is, “Why am I afraid to talk to this person?”

I’ll meditate deeply on this and see what pops up.

My Answers

1 - I don’t want to bother him. He probably gets bombarded with the same questions or compliments all day long. Maybe it’s best to just let him be at peace and alone. In other words, I don’t want to be just another person taking from him and not giving him an equal exchange of energy and love.

2 – I honestly don’t know what to say. My mind has gone completely blank. Blurting something out from this state would be embarrassing at the least. I remember having a conversation with Robert Redford, which I was not nervous about because he was a friend of a very good friend. He said that he had just been at an ice cream shop across the street and a woman who approached him to talk proceeded to put her ice cream cone in her purse, which he pointed out to her, and which she probably still lives with the embarrassment about, or maybe not. I would.

3 – He’s better than me; more talented, more successful, more well known.

4 – He won’t like me. If I start talking to him and realize mid-conversation that he is not interested, I won’t feel good about myself.

So, here are four things that I can look at more deeply, and heal with Shakti’s grace.

Let’s do that from a more general perspective.

I Don’t Want to Bother Them

Where does this one come from? Why would I bother them? I am a wonderful person with an intriguing perspective on life. If they didn’t want to be engaged in conversation, they could excuse themselves and walk away. If they really didn’t want to be “bothered”, they probably wouldn’t be out in such a public space, where people could so easily engage.

So, what in me believes that I am a “bother”. This is a blog post so I don’t have time to dive deeply into each topic, but I’ll have a brief exploration of each. If I believe I am a bother, that idea was probably implanted in me somewhere along the way.

As I sit with this in meditation, I remember, as a child, being told to be quiet at the dinner table unless spoken to first. Children should be seen and not heard. Adults should not be interrupted when talking. Those rules made me feel that they were more important than me and that my voice was not worth hearing. And if I spoke or asked for anything, I was being a bother.

I Don’t Know What to Say

In most conversation, I would probably ask someone about their life, their interests, their job, and their hobbies. I would ask what they are most interested in, what lights them up. I would ask in response to their energy and what they feel willing and excited to share. I really love hearing people’s stories.

But in the dream situation above, everyone knows his story. Everyone knows who he is and where he comes from. Everyone knows the taboo topics and the things that would probably not be appropriate to ask about.

How do I start a conversation that would lead into something that he would honestly want to talk about, something that would be enriching for us both. In the dream, which felt like a very real-life scenario, I knew I probably only had a couple of seconds to make a move or my chance would be lost.

I tuned into the divine and asked her to speak through me. She always knows what to say because she knows everyone’s heart and she knows what would lead into the conversation that would benefit us both in the highest and best way.

I watched the words roll out of my mouth, “I really want to talk to you, but I don’t know what to say”. And there it is, the truth always wins. If someone said that to me, I would probably be really open to the exchange and definitely intrigued.

They’re Better Than Me

When we are healing, illogical belief systems arise. I can know, believe and feel with every part of my being that we are all the same, that we are all perfect manifestations of love. But then a situation will arise to show me that I clearly have something hiding in my consciousness that is not in alignment with this belief.

As I sit quietly with these feelings, I remember that there was a hierarchy in my mom’s world. People with money were better than us. People who relied on government assistance and weren’t educated or cultured were not as good as us. And we rested somewhere in the middle. In this hierarchy, someone who is successful and wealthy is better than me, and since we wouldn’t want to communicate with those who are lower in the hierarchy, why would those who are higher up want to communicate with me?

Having grown up with this belief system, it makes sense why I would still have these beliefs embedded in me. Now it’s time to dig it out and heal it.

They Won’t Like Me

What if I start talking to this person and they don’t like me? What if I realize mid-conversation that they would rather be somewhere else? It doesn’t take long to figure out if a person isn’t interested in the conversation. I am very sensitive to people’s energy and the social dynamics of a situation, so if I sensed that they weren’t interested, I would probably excuse myself and walk away.

But what if I really cared that this person liked me or didn’t like me? What if I really admired and respected them and felt that them not liking me was a reflection on me? That’s what I need to explore.

This takes me right back to elementary school when I was made fun of quite a bit. When I was made fun of, I felt like I didn’t fit in. If I don’t fit in and I am not liked, that means no one is there to care for me.

After those experiences in elementary school, I found it very valuable to be liked and have friends. My family at home did not have the capacity to care for me the way that I needed so I found this with my friends. I equated being liked and having friends with being cared for and nurtured.

So I established a very fundamental belief that being liked is essential for being safe and cared for. This seems to be a core belief that needs healing.

Healing

If I sit with each one of these beliefs and dig into the root cause or core of them, they can’t stand strong in my subconscious mind anymore. If I ask them to be released by Shakti’s grace, she will begin the process of change.

If I understand that healing begins with looking, I can find change. The healing is the grace that comes when I understand my true self.

What Would I Say to Michael Jackson if He Were Alive Today?

If I knew I was going to run into Michael Jackson and I wanted to have a conversation and I didn’t want to use the line that I used in my dream, what would I say?

I would sit in the grace of this same energy, Shakti’s grace, the grace of love and ask, “what should I say?”. I will do this now to show you how I would proceed.

Sitting in my heart space, talking to the love of God, grace, Shakti and asking, when I see Michael Jackson again, what words should I use to start a meaningful exchange?

“Hi Michael, how are you today?

What do you feel about the current state of the world?

Do you feel it can be changed? Do you feel that we can have kindness and compassion in the higher decision-making roles of our government?

Do you feel that you can make more music that would change these things?

How do you feel that your music affects the energy of consciousness?

Do you feel that you want to be brighter, more shiny, more light for the world to see or are you ready to go into hiding?

I’m sorry the world has been so harsh to you. I see your beauty and your grace.”

It would go on like that, and that would be a very beautiful and meaningful exchange.

It doesn’t matter if the person is Jesus, the Pope, the Dalai Lama, Mick Jagger, Billie Eilish, or that special someone who you want so desperately to talk to, but the words freeze up at the sight of them. We are all the same. Inherently, at the core of our beings, we are all the same love, light, joy, peace, truth and divinity. We can’t be separated. God is the essence of everything.

I can see myself as divine and free, and everything around me will acquiesce to that understanding. When I ask someone about who they are and what their deepest dreams and desires are from this space of divinity and truth within my own being, such an amazing connection can be made.

Tell them how beautiful they are and how much you love their work. Ask them about things they love and are interested in. Hopefully they will do the same. I’ve found that when I ask someone about them, and every conversation leads into my exploration of their life, but they don’t ask about me, we eventually lose the connection. It’s about the ebb and flow of life and the exchange of energy. I want that freedom to explore with everybody.

Creation is alive in this dance of flowing energetic exchange.

Would you be interested in exploring these things in Shakti Therapy Sessions with me?

Learn More About Shakti Therapy w/Kai Shanti

Conclusion

When we see ourselves as divine and free, we explore the idea that everyone is divine and free. I say explore because I just found myself judging someone for their actions only thirty minutes ago. So I haven’t mastered this yet. But I digress.

In this moment of life, I expect my body and my mind to accept all others into my experience with ease and grace. I want my openness to experience freedom in dialogical exchange. What a beautiful concept, to be able to freely express what I feel, and allow another to open their heart to me.

In summary, if we feel afraid to talk to someone:

1. Sit with the feelings of fear.

2. Ask the inner self the question, “Why am I afraid to talk to this person?”

3. Write down your answers. Whatever comes up is perfect.

4. Explore each one. See if you can find the root, where this feeling might have evolved from.

5. Know that in the process of the exploration, healing is happening.

6. Ask for Shakti’s grace, God, however you refer to higher consciousness to heal these feelings and beliefs.

7. Sit deeply and ask the divine what to say to this person the next time you see them. Rehearse the questions or put them in your phone so you stay open to remembering when you are face to face with them.

Honest compliments and genuine interest are always monumental in opening to a meaningful, heart-felt conversation.