In the Depth of My Awakening Process
How Deep does this Process of Awakening go?
Oneness, Truth, Peace, Love, Divinity, feeling our essence, feeling our knowingness that God is the Truth within us.
Going through this experience of Love, this deep experience of love, this deep experience of Oneness.
This energy of grace that is coming through this particular body at this time; what is it? How does it feel?
This is the essence of me, me as a being, me as a consciousness, me as a divine expression of light.
I’m becoming more expansive and expressive than I’ve ever been.
As we’re experiencing, as we’re expressing, as we’re truthfully receiving and giving. I went through an expressionless childhood so that I could make it easy for everyone. The expression was to make other people happy, always to make other people happy.
I did drugs, I slept around a lot; I was trying to find my expression. I was trying to find an expression that was a real aspect of me. I did that through drugs, through alcohol, through running around with different men.
That deep expression that I’ve always wanted, that deep connection that I’ve always looked for, is going deeper within myself.
To see how the effect of loving myself, loving my own divinity, loving my own beingness can be commenced in myself and therefore in the world around me.
Exploring what it means to be connected to another being, exploring what it means to not be loved, it takes you into a place of deep energy within your own self.
Why am I here? What am I doing here? What’s the purpose? What’s the point?
Why is this grace within me expressed in such a painful way?
In the awakening of the Kundalini in my 20s, I saw that grace was within me, I saw that this expression of truth was within me. I saw that I could see these things and feel these things and experience these things, but how did that affect the world around me?
I can see now that it deeply affected my experiences. It deeply affected the world around me. It deeply affected the things I was seeing and doing and knowing. But, I wasn’t expecting grace to come forth in my life in the world in the way that I knew it could. Because Grace within me was deeper than the grace around me, that’s what I was experiencing.
I’d had that experience of knowing myself deeply and then I’d walk into my kitchen and I’d have hatred coming towards me. Or something completely incongruent with what I was experiencing within.
I’m trying to explain what process that I’m going through as I’m going through it. It’s an enlightening process. I’m waking up to my true, divine self. I’m waking up to the aspect of me that knows who I am, why I’m here, what I’m doing here and how I’ve been here up until this point in time. So, there’s always been this grace within me, there’s always been this understanding within me, there’s always been a knowing within me.
How about that aspect of me that hasn’t been receiving the grace? It’s gone. There’s something within me that’s receiving everything now on every level of my being.
I’m enlightening now.
Come along with me on this ride, on this trip. See where we go, see where we dive, see what we experience, see how we feel, see how we know, see what life is bringing to us, see what life is giving to us, see how we can accept this energy of grace further and further and deeper and deeper into our beingness, into our truth, into our energy and into our grace.
Let’s be Oneness. Let’s be Grace. Let’s be Truth. Let’s be Energy.
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