The most interesting events happened yesterday that all led up to me feeling like crap when I went to bed last night. After a moment of despair and "Oh my god, why am I creating this energy in my life", I realized what a great gift this is. I am seeing something for the first time, really, in such a clear direct way. I wasn't really prepared for what I was seeing so I didn't recognize it fully, but the death of this old belief system is SO rewarding.
Here goes... I first saw a Yahoo article about a prisoner on death row giving away his last meal to the homeless and asking others to also contribute a meal to the homeless. This struck me as awful. OH MY God! How are we still putting people to death? What is this society that we are living in? What is happening to us? Then, I read what he "did" to be put on death row. Oh my god, even worse feelings of despair. How could someone do that? How could we become so lost within ourselves to become so awfully frustrated within our beings that we could perform such a horrific act. Ahh, what is happening to me? Why am I even reading this crap? Why do I want to work in a prison? I can't even forgive this guy for this act. I have an awful feeling within me. This is where this all started yesterday. I had begun the process of evaluating what is happening. I remembered the Buddha and Angulimala the Brigand and with a simple act of kindness and love, the Buddha was able to show Angulimala his brutal ways and turn him into a Saint. How could forgiveness run so deep. Angulimala had killed hundreds of people and wore their fingers as a necklace of his murderess prowess. I couldn't even forgive this guy for murdering his wife.
So, I go on with my day with this uncomfortable feeling in my heart. I have other things happen that lead to this same conclusion. Am I spending too much time on my "business", trying to turn my spiritual work into a business? Is it wrong? I know I want to spread this message into the world, but is it wrong? Am I spending too much time and energy on this? I have a headache. I'm overwhelmed. I'm tired. My brain is fried from listening to so much business talk. I must retire early.
I decide to post an inquiry about other people's awakening, a subject I am interested in lately. Who is awakening? How many people are awakening these days? How is it happening? I am currently writing a book about this topic, called Awaken. I am interested to know what is happening in the world. So, I post this with a link to my video about my own awakening experience. I get a response that reads, ""People can receive shaktipat their entire life and drain their wallets or they can meditate on their own. this way they can remove the parasite which is the spiritual new age industry from their lives". Hmmm, "Wow, How did I attract that energy?" runs through my mind. I start on a path to despair, but realize that there is a gem for me in this, so I look further. I see also that I once again drop into the despair of my guru not supporting me on my path and my acknowledgement of my own truth within this opening. The same dark feeling arising with each event, not knowing why it is coming up today. I have been working so hard, being so diligent, Why is this happening? Why am I attracting this energy?, I ask.
So, as I am going to sleep, I decide to put the random selection option on my Satsang playlist on Youtube. Please show me what I need to listen to here that will reveal to me the truth of why I am attracting this energy today, what I need to see and experience differently, what will show me the truth today so I can be Free. This is what is revealed in these two beautiful videos.
None of this bullshit is the truth. It is finally revealed to me SO clearly. None of this bullshit is the truth. I can see it. I can feel it. I can experience it. The fear about money, it's all false. The fear about murder and density of our truth, it's all a lie. We are all Divine. I see it. I see it so clearly that it stabs me from within my own inner being and lets me see that it's all free. Everything is free. It's all Free. We are all Free! I get it. I am so happy. I am so Free.
Money is beautiful. Money is divine. Money is Amazing. It is everything we are and ever have been because we are all free. It isn't about money or not money. It's isn't about murder or not murder. It isn't about victim or victimlesss. It isn't about being this or being that. It's about us, being free. It's all about us being free. I am in love with life and everything is free. Do what you want, how you want in the most beautiful way that is becoming you today. It's all beautiful, divine, perfect, loving and free.
Anyway, if you'd like to listen to the videos, here are the links. I hope you can see what I am revealing. I am so happy!
Miracles are Happening
Money and Manifestation ~ Session 1