My guru had been telling me that this voice inside of me is not the Divinity that I am seeking, that it is not the Divine truth of my being, that it is not divine truly, but what he is telling me is the divine truth and what he is telling me is what should be trusted and what he is telling me should be seen as the holy sentiment of God’s grace. I tried to believe him. I tried to believe him for so long and I am still trying to resolve the pain that it is has caused. What an unbelievable journey it has brought me into. What an unbelievable trust in my own faith it is challenging me to today. What an unbelievable guilt trip I suffered for so many years; wanting to please the guru, wanting
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